Well. That settles it. The paperwork is in order, my retirement package settled. I have done my work as a dairy cow, and am happy/sad to say that I am no longer needed in that department. Eli is fully weaned - at 10 months.
I didn't do this intentionally - it kinda just happened. All of a sudden he started eating tons of food, and stopped crying for feeds. Then only in the last few weeks, I stopped going in to him at night when he cried - not only did he stop feeding over night, he also stopped crying for me. He sleeps for 10-12 hours straight now....
While I'm super stoked about his new love of sleeping, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the cessation of feeding him. I mean, I'm happy to be "free" of the ritual, in the sense that now, I get a full night's sleep (if you count 5 a.m wake ups as full) and if I had to leave him with someone, he's not going to need a bottle. However, this really does draw the curtains on that section of my life (for now - til the next one comes along..) as well as his life. I find myself with mixed feelings about that. I don't nurse him to sleep anymore, so I don't get to sit and look at his beautiful face while he sleeps... that's something I'll miss a lot.
There's another aspect of this too that I find niggles at my mind. Previously, whenever I couldn't settle him for whatever reason, or if he was in pain, I would show him that I loved him by giving him his most favourite thing in the world... and I felt like a good mum. Now, if I can't settle him, or he's in pain, the best I can do is kisses and cuddles. Sometimes, it just feels like that's not enough. Like I'm not a "magical" mum, whose kisses and cuddles could cure the most horrible things, especially my baby's crying.
I didn't know how I was going to feel about it. I suspected I'd just be happy about it - since I didn't really think it was my favourite thing in the world. I didn't dislike it, I just couldn't gush about it like it's the most incredible thing I could ever experience as a mother. There are plenty of other awesome things I experience every day that are easily in line with breast feeding. I'm glad I did it, and I will do it again. Who knows, maybe the next baby will feed longer. Maybe not?
If you've not done it yet and are planning on it (comment is restricted to women for obvious reasons...) or if you're doing it currently and are not finding it as wonderful and amazing as you were told it would be, don't stress. It's not like that for everyone... It wasn't like that for me!
But I still really did enjoy it - in my own way... :o)
A. xo
Showing posts with label baby sleep training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby sleep training. Show all posts
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Monday, 30 November 2009
Crying it out....
I'm a monster. That is indisputable.
I would be a bad mother, however, if I didn't do this. My gorgeously adorable happy little boy has, over the last few weeks, become a real drag... He refuses to go to sleep when he's tired, and if I manage to convince him that he needs a sleep, he only does so for the minimum period of time - 30-50 minutes. Ordinarily, I would just let him be, pick him up, play with him a little, let him loose in the playpen. BUT, more recently, he has been waking up cranky and irritated, which, needless to say, is horrible for both of us.
So, I have had to take a different tactic. He'd turned into what I call a "Sleep Brat". He thinks he's in control, and can choose if he wants to sleep or not, no matter how tired he is.
I beg to differ. I am the boss.
So on Saturday afternoon, after a FULL ON day out and about with his Mimi (my mum), Aunty Sharni and I - shopping of course - he needed a big sleep. 2 hours or so would have been sufficient. Even and hour and a half would work. But he had different ideas. 30 minutes later he wakes up, cranky and grizzling. So, mum goes up and pats his bum for about 20 minutes. He falls asleep twice or more, and every time, in his stubborn "I'll-do-what-I-want" way, he forces himself awake again and cries. So, we leave him there to scream it out. It's more like screaming in an angry way, rather than crying cos he thinks no one loves him anymore. He's peeved. This is a full on tantrum. Now that the battle lines have been drawn, if we back down now, we've lost, and it'll just get harder from here.
Almost 2 hours later, we've checked on him several times, tried to get him to lay back down and go to sleep, and he's winding down the pace with smaller, defeated whimpers. This is when we all breathe a sigh of relief. He's given up, finally!! He's dead to the world asleep.
That was traumatic. For me, not for him. He woke up about 2 hours later, had a feed and dropped straight back off to sleep. He was exhausted. He ended up sleeping really well Saturday night. When he finally did wake up for the day on Sunday morning, he was happy and cheerful. It was like he didn't even remember it! Just in case, though, I gave him tons more cuddles and kisses...
We had a great day Sunday, but again, it was pretty fast paced and he needed a decent sleep that afternoon. So, we engaged in battle number 2. This time, it was to get him to go to sleep in the first place. I had him asleep, and as soon as I tried to put him into his bed, he'd crack it. It wasn't because of his bed, it was simply him trying to reassert himself. I couldn't let him win after the massive victory we'd had the day before, so I patted him, cuddled him, reassured him, and left. It took only 45 minutes of intermittent yelling on his behalf and he was asleep. Out cold.
I am finding today (Monday), that he is coping a whole lot better with life in general. I haven't needed to give him nearly as much pain relief for his teething woes. I also have found he goes to sleep more willingly. However, I know that I will have to continue in this vein for a little longer, because his midday nap (which he's currently engaged in) wasn't so smooth...
I like to feed him to sleep, which I don't have any dramas with, but sometimes, I can feed him until the cows come home (even when he's absolutely 'past it' tired) and he will fight to the death to stay awake. I used to just give up and plop him back in his playpen, only to be hit with an onslaught of whingeing and crying because simply nothing will make him happy. Eventually, after I have almost lost it completely, he'll go to sleep. Sometimes this would take hours, and he would miss a nap time altogether.
This time, however, I fed him, he rubbed his eyes, grizzled, wanted to sleep... so I put him in his cot, on his tummy. He cried a little bit here and there for about 5-10 minutes and then fell asleep. If the phone hadn't rung at that point, he would have gone down without a hitch - but it did ring, and woke him, only to restart the 10 minute process again, but this time with a little more vigor.
He is learning, and he will be able to be put in his cot and go to sleep without all the fuss very soon, I'm sure. I'm not going to recommend Crying It Out, but I will say this: What is better? Cranky, unhappy, unhealthy mother and child? Or knowing you have done what you had to do, no matter how difficult for YOU?
I never wanted to use a method of sleep training that involved crying, but I knew that if I didn't set the limits now, then my son had one over me.. and that would spoil my beautiful child. That would have been on my head, and THAT, I could never deal with.
Good luck mummies out there.... You're doing the best you can!
Love A. xo
I would be a bad mother, however, if I didn't do this. My gorgeously adorable happy little boy has, over the last few weeks, become a real drag... He refuses to go to sleep when he's tired, and if I manage to convince him that he needs a sleep, he only does so for the minimum period of time - 30-50 minutes. Ordinarily, I would just let him be, pick him up, play with him a little, let him loose in the playpen. BUT, more recently, he has been waking up cranky and irritated, which, needless to say, is horrible for both of us.
So, I have had to take a different tactic. He'd turned into what I call a "Sleep Brat". He thinks he's in control, and can choose if he wants to sleep or not, no matter how tired he is.
I beg to differ. I am the boss.
So on Saturday afternoon, after a FULL ON day out and about with his Mimi (my mum), Aunty Sharni and I - shopping of course - he needed a big sleep. 2 hours or so would have been sufficient. Even and hour and a half would work. But he had different ideas. 30 minutes later he wakes up, cranky and grizzling. So, mum goes up and pats his bum for about 20 minutes. He falls asleep twice or more, and every time, in his stubborn "I'll-do-what-I-want" way, he forces himself awake again and cries. So, we leave him there to scream it out. It's more like screaming in an angry way, rather than crying cos he thinks no one loves him anymore. He's peeved. This is a full on tantrum. Now that the battle lines have been drawn, if we back down now, we've lost, and it'll just get harder from here.
Almost 2 hours later, we've checked on him several times, tried to get him to lay back down and go to sleep, and he's winding down the pace with smaller, defeated whimpers. This is when we all breathe a sigh of relief. He's given up, finally!! He's dead to the world asleep.
That was traumatic. For me, not for him. He woke up about 2 hours later, had a feed and dropped straight back off to sleep. He was exhausted. He ended up sleeping really well Saturday night. When he finally did wake up for the day on Sunday morning, he was happy and cheerful. It was like he didn't even remember it! Just in case, though, I gave him tons more cuddles and kisses...
We had a great day Sunday, but again, it was pretty fast paced and he needed a decent sleep that afternoon. So, we engaged in battle number 2. This time, it was to get him to go to sleep in the first place. I had him asleep, and as soon as I tried to put him into his bed, he'd crack it. It wasn't because of his bed, it was simply him trying to reassert himself. I couldn't let him win after the massive victory we'd had the day before, so I patted him, cuddled him, reassured him, and left. It took only 45 minutes of intermittent yelling on his behalf and he was asleep. Out cold.
I am finding today (Monday), that he is coping a whole lot better with life in general. I haven't needed to give him nearly as much pain relief for his teething woes. I also have found he goes to sleep more willingly. However, I know that I will have to continue in this vein for a little longer, because his midday nap (which he's currently engaged in) wasn't so smooth...
I like to feed him to sleep, which I don't have any dramas with, but sometimes, I can feed him until the cows come home (even when he's absolutely 'past it' tired) and he will fight to the death to stay awake. I used to just give up and plop him back in his playpen, only to be hit with an onslaught of whingeing and crying because simply nothing will make him happy. Eventually, after I have almost lost it completely, he'll go to sleep. Sometimes this would take hours, and he would miss a nap time altogether.
This time, however, I fed him, he rubbed his eyes, grizzled, wanted to sleep... so I put him in his cot, on his tummy. He cried a little bit here and there for about 5-10 minutes and then fell asleep. If the phone hadn't rung at that point, he would have gone down without a hitch - but it did ring, and woke him, only to restart the 10 minute process again, but this time with a little more vigor.
He is learning, and he will be able to be put in his cot and go to sleep without all the fuss very soon, I'm sure. I'm not going to recommend Crying It Out, but I will say this: What is better? Cranky, unhappy, unhealthy mother and child? Or knowing you have done what you had to do, no matter how difficult for YOU?
I never wanted to use a method of sleep training that involved crying, but I knew that if I didn't set the limits now, then my son had one over me.. and that would spoil my beautiful child. That would have been on my head, and THAT, I could never deal with.
Good luck mummies out there.... You're doing the best you can!
Love A. xo
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