BFLON

BFLON? Yes, big fat lot of nothing.  That's what last month's cycle turned out to be.  It's ok, it was an incredibly long shot.  To fall pregnant, you need to have done the baby dance at the very latest 2 or 3 days prior to ovulation.  Last cycle, I think it was about 5 days.  That's too long, no matter which way you cut it.  I mean, don't get me wrong, sometimes strange things happen.. but in my opinion, if you've "conceived" by "dancing" 4 or 5 days prior to ovulation, you've got the ovulation dates wrong (more than likely..).

Anyway, pressing on to a new cycle, which happened to fall conveniently over my man's holidays! Yay for baby making to a less ridiculous schedule!! For those that don't already know, my husband is away all week and home on the weekends due to work.  So to have him home for almost a week was pure bliss, and honestly, very convenient! ;o) It just so happened that I ovulated much earlier than I anticipated, so the timing could not have possibly been any more perfect!  Keep in mind, we are trying for a girl, so it's a little more finicky than going for a boy.  You can google that... I don't have the energy to break it down right now. :o)

So here I am, at the very beginning of yet another 2WW, which may or may not drive me crazy this time.  I feel so optimistic about this cycle that I feel like I can just forget about it for a week or so and then scrutinise every little twinge for pregnancy signs.  I'll let you know how I'm going though (unlike last month.. sorry about that..)

Good luck and babydust to all those TTCers out there!

A. xo

"You want... moooorrrrrre?????"

Every time I look at a pregnant woman - I want another baby.  You wouldn't think that's possible, when you're feeling frumpy and ruined, tired beyond belief, unable to cope with the one you have, and your undercarriage has just never really recovered.

But it's true!!  I imagine most mums feel this way.  I don't know that for sure, but I assume it's the case.  It's a strange feeling - because I think about being pregnant again, feeling the little flutters of movement, imagining the unknown, and it makes me feel really excited.  Then, the reality creeps up on me and reminds me quietly that I will then not only have one child that wakes me up through the night, but possibly two... two children's nappies to change... two kids to carry around and stop from touching things...

two seems like a really big number...

I have to restrain myself though - I'll be honest.  It's really tempting just to go for it and get pregnant again. (I'm sorry about the pictures "go for it" conjures up - I promise it was NOT intentional...)

I wonder how I would feel about number 2.  It's not going to be exactly the same as my first - cos I've already been there, done that, so to speak.  It's going to be really great having an idea, however inaccurate, of what I'll be receiving at the end of it.  I wonder if the pregnancy will go quicker because I'm not just me, waiting to have a baby, I'm a mum, with one already keeping me very occupied.  It's always going to be an adventure, of this, I am sure!

I want to hear about your feelings on this....  Go ahead and leave a comment!  :)

A. xo

Disappointment is the word..

I did it.  I went and got acupuncture.  I really thought it would work.  I really really thought it would work.  Let me explain.  The current stats are that 86% of women at term (which I am) go into labour within 24 hours.  I apparently do not count as one of the 86%, which is insanely crap!  Four days later I've been back for another shot.  We threw the book at my baby, using electricity (by way of a tens machine) and more little tiny needles.  We're all stocked up on moxibustion sticks, the smoking and non-smoking kind.  I don't know.  

I'm just fed up, like every other woman who is at 40 weeks.. every day that passes that I don't have labour pains I'm more disappointed.  I know I shouldn't be, I mean, let's face it.  Eli was only due today..  it's not even like he's late (until midnight).  He'll get here soon I'm sure, and I won't need to medically intervene, but I'm just so desperately waiting.  My whole family was here over the weekend, just waiting for me.  They've had to go home to work, so they missed out this time.  I just wish I'd been able to "perform"..  You know, have a baby on demand.

We have had fun though, having said all of that.  We went for drives to different areas of my city, lunched on mountaintop cafe's and wandered through display homes.  It really was fun.  I will admit also that it was great taking my mind off the absence of contractions.  But inevitably, I had to return home and face the facts:  I am still very pregnant!!!  

I'll let you know how the session today turns out.  He told me that I have already defied the odds and so would be shocked if he had to see me a third time.  I hope this time he's right.  I want this baby out - yesterday if possible.  I am actually starting to long for the corridors of the hospital, the brusque nurses and the probing internal checks.  How sad is that right?  

Anyway - I will let you know, as I said, what the outcome is, when there is one!  

Hang in there all you preggie ladies!  I feel your pain!!

The beginning of the .. well .. beginning.

I'm up earlier than I have been in the last 3 months...  This is due to my excitement about the arrival of my mum!!  It feels like it's all happening.  Not only do I love the company she provides, but the reason she's here, is for the birth!!!  That's more exciting than shopping and coffee shops. Soo much more!

So it's 8.15 am, but I've been awake since around 6 am.  This is super early for me, I must stress, as lately it seems I cannot drag my sorry butt out of bed until at least 10 in the morning.  I attribute this to "growing a human".  I figure it takes a lot of energy to do something so incredible.  

At this point, it's important to mention that I feel awesomely privileged to be the one who is able to do this.  I was watching a TV show last night that had a segment on men's pain management.  This reporter was literally writhing in pain with simulated contractions.  He lasted a grand 3 hours, working up to 60 second contractions every 3 minutes, before he called a time out.  He was sucking on gas for a bit too, but I guess it wasn't enough for him.  I understand that he was in pain, but seriously, who would go through that if it weren't for the miraculous little person you get to hug and kiss at the end of the torture??  I completely understand him declining to go on for a further 9 hours.  He said something in his agony that made me smile though.  

He said, "I have never been so glad to be a man."  

Now, again, while I stress that I am not knocking this guy - he did ok for a pointless torture session - I had to smile to myself and think, "I have never been so glad to be a woman".  We, as womankind, have an amazing duty as nurturers and providers for our babies, even before they are born.  But do you know what I think is THE SHIZ about the whole thing??  Our bodies do it with no conscious thought!  Our cells are programmed to create something from literally two individual chromosomes.  That blows my mind.  Then we have to summon all our strength, mental, physical and emotional and give birth to this being that has been feeding off our bodies for 9 months.  This being is perfect (in most cases..) and whole and wonderful, and we will never feel love and emotion as deeply for anything else - except for the next being we create within our bellies.  I love being a woman!! I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Anyways.. Sorry, I got off track.  I will keep you updated (hopefully) over this easter weekend on the activities of mum and I.  Oh, and by the way, acupuncture appointment is TODAY!!  I've got my fingers toes and eyes crossed in the hope that this is the straw that broke the waters.. haha.  

Have a safe weekend all.. :)