Feminism? Or stupid...

I don't know what your thoughts are on Feminism.  I'm not scared of that word, as some would infer.  I'm also not under the spell of it's apparent appeal.  I believe that women have a role - a really really important role - to play in the world.  They are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters -- and BFF's.  :)

Some mums/wives are really hard workers, climbing the ladder of success, popping their kiddies in day care and racing off to save the world with bank notes.  Other mums are also really hard workers, cleaning homes (perhaps not only their own), cooking meals, being personal chauffeur to a horde of tiny people, washing and patching clothing, kissing better the hurtie bits, shopping for food etc etc etc and still finding energy at the end of a hectic day to be a lover and a wife.

I'm not going to tell you that one is better than the other, but I think you can tell my point of view...

My question is this:  If you get paid what a man gets paid, does that make you the same as a man?  If you can get jobs that a man can get, does that make you the same as a man?  If you can speak out and be heard as an individual, does that make you the same as a man?  Why do we, as women, want to be like men?

I for one want a man to treat me as a woman, not as another man.  I want doors opened for me.  I want my honour defended.  I want help carrying heavy items - especially if I am pregnant or elderly.  I want a man to give up their seat for me.  I want these things because I work damned hard as a woman - a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister, and I deserve to be treated with respect from a man.  I don't want to be expected to work like a man.  I'm not a man, I'm a woman.  I am a "weaker vessel" in that I was not made to be as physically strong as a man.  I do not think like a man.  I do not talk like a man.  I do not wish to BE a man.

So what is it that we are going to gain from apparent "equality"?  I say apparent, because you cannot possibly be that deluded that you could imagine we as women will ever really be equal to men - whether society feels we are or not.  That's not to say that a man is better - although by striving for pseudo equality, we are in fact suggesting that being a man is superior in some way...

If you look back at history, back at the actual discrimination against women, you can acknowledge that "women" as a sector of society have a certain freedom now that was not afforded them in the early days.  I appreciate that we have those freedoms because of women who were prepared to fight for them.  Thank you to those women.  But really, how far will this fight go?  If you want to talk about when "enough is enough", isn't this ENOUGH?  What more do you want?  At least back then women were respected enough to be taken care of.  Now, all you hear is women complaining that they don't get the same recognition in the workplace.  The real issue, if you ask me, is if we should A) be wanting to work the same jobs and the same hours, and B) be there in the first place...  I don't want to work 50 hours a week - that's what my man does, for me.  And he feels like a more accomplished, more successful man because of it.  This means that we have clear cut roles in our marriage, that being I am the WOMAN, and he is the MAN - I am the delicate flower and he is the big strong cave man taking care of me.  I'm OK with that - and I think all women should on some level accept their place, not in a "sit down and shut up" kind of way, but a genuine respect for what our men are prepared to do for us out of love and adoration, and an inner peace about what we also bring to the table even if it isn't money.

I read April's blog today, and she was talking about men breastfeeding, and if they did, the world would be set up to accommodate them in every area of life - work, public, transportation, accessibility etc.  That may be true, but let's look at that statement and really think for a second.

Think about it.

Keep thinking.

Here's what I came up with:

MEN CAN'T BREAST FEED!!!!!  HA!  SUCK IT!  We are the ONLY ones who can!!!!!  Therefor, the question, accompanied by the speculation, is null and void.

I firmly believe that by continuing to press for further (imagined) "equality" will only further damage the family unit.  It will rip mums away from their families, emasculate husbands and deter any remaining knights in shining armour from being chivalrous in any way shape or form - meaning that when I am pregnant, I won't be receiving help from a man, for fear of him being reprimanded for treating me as a lesser person than him.  When I am elderly, I won't be offered a seat by a man who is sitting, because he doesn't want to look like a jacka$$ in front of the people around him.  And who knows, maybe in the future, maternity leave will be taken away, and so will parenting payments because women and men, are expected to work as "equals"...

As the saying goes, you can't have your cake and eat it too.  We are confusing the masses with our stupid notions of equality.  Sure, some things needed to change, and some things possibly could be done better.  But instead of rallying for equality, why not rally for restored family life, proper education and well behaved children?  Why not rally for reduced living costs so that those women whose wish is to be with their families don't have to go out and work 2 jobs?  Why not fight for something that can realistically be achieved?

If you want to waste your time and pretend you know what you're asking for - go ahead.  Join the feminists...

A. xo