I love my baby. I would do anything for him. I would take his pain, and go through it all myself, if I could. Unfortunately I can't. When he's in pain, and can't cope, I give him something to help him cope. Sometimes, it's homeopathic stuff. Sometimes, it's not. I would love to think that my baby had only ever had natural things go into his system, but you know what? I don't feel like a worse mother if he has the odd dose of Nurofen or Panadol, or if I feed him 3 biscuits in one morning.
I resent the implication by some parents and parenting books, that a mother who is not perfect, is the wrong kind of mother.
I disagree.
If your baby laughs, sleeps and isn't losing weight, you're doing O.K. I respect you, because although you aren't perfect (and let's face it, who is??) you are a great mum who is doing her best. Don't believe the hype. While routines and wonderful-ness are really great for keeping things in order, they are not a mandatory part of parenting. If you don't follow what the books say, you are still going to enjoy your baby's life. You may not have a great time all of the time, and yes, you may encounter the odd problem here and there, but if you are consistent and practice disciplined parenting (the kind where your kid doesn't run rings around you and therefor turn into a heinous blotch on human society...) you will be FINE!!
I was soooo one of those people who judged other mums before I had kids. I thought it was pretty straight forward - you smack for bad behaviour, praise for good, and give lots and lots of kisses and cuddles and you're set. Oh, and don't forget to feed them food, and give them plenty of liquids... :o) I was kinda right, but mostly wrong. While smacks can be good for bad behaviour, it's not always totally clear when something is bad behaviour. It's like, one day, they do something "naughty", but they don't get that what they did was wrong - so you don't smack, you just distract them. All of a sudden, one day, they get it, and they're doing it because it's naughty. Before you know it, they're a brat and you've not disciplined them! There is hope, though, once you realise that fact.
Since Eli was born, actually prior to his birth, I read about what was the "right" thing, and what was the "wrong" thing as far as birth, pregnancy - diet and exercise, newborn care, breast feeding, sleeping and naps, feeding solids etc etc etc. The list continues on and on and on. I can safely say that all these books have done for me is made me even more nervous about doing it wrong. The fact is, you buy books and ask for advice so that you are clearer on how to do what you're planning to do, not so that you can be criticised for doing things a different way to them.
I think I should write an advice book - not one with plans and routines and instructions, but perhaps a book full of advice from mums that have gone wrong or made a mistake somewhere along the line and learned heaps from it. There's so much more value in that than there is an instruction manual....
Peace out mummies, and know that you're AWESOME! :o)
A. xo
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