To my little boy...

You're not as little as I remember you.  Once upon a time, you were only 54.5cm long, weighed a fraction more than 4kg, and barely ever opened your eyes.  It seems, without me even noticing, you've grown and developed into this walking, talking little man, with your own ideas about the world.  I have loved watching you this past year, and I know that with each one that passes, I am only going to love you more.

When I brought you home, I didn't know what to do with you.  If you weren't asleep, I got nervous, wondering what I'd done wrong.  But then, the awake times started to get longer, the sleep times shorter and more scheduled, and I grew to know you and anticipate the times we could spend together.  I fell in love with you completely, so much that I thought my heart may explode.

I remember when you first slept in your cot, in another room.  I was nervous, and I missed you, but I had to be strong.  Turned out, you loved your big bed - much more than the little bassinet I had beside my bed.  You liked to sleep on your tummy and spread out your arms and legs.  The bassinet was cramping your style...  :o)  

You were 17 weeks old when your first teeth came through - two of them at the bottom.  That was a challenge, for both of us.  I was so thrilled for you, and proud at my little "early achiever".  You had been so sick with pain and fever from those wretched things, so when they made their appearance, we all breathed a little sigh of relief for you.  I hated not being able to take the pain for you.  But, look at you now!  One year old, and have your first molar.  You handled it like a pro.. You're completely awesome. :o)

You began to roll over at about 5 months.  I couldn't believe how clever you were.  I was so excited, I must have captured you on camera about a thousand times!  As someone once said to me, you were the most photographed child in history... you probably still are.  It was only a couple of months later, you started to crawl.  You were so keen to get moving, you used to caterpillar crawl around our tiny townhouse's kitchen.  I wondered if you'd get the hang of "four-point crawling".. and you did, eventually.  You're still crawling mostly, with a little attempt at walking thrown in here and there.  

You talk to me, you copy me on the phone, you point and use sign language to tell me what you want.  You get into so much mischief, and you love it.  You have an incredible sense of humour, and I don't know when you learnt it, but you know how to share a laugh with us... :o)  

I watch you now and wonder what happened to my sleepy little newborn, who used to fall asleep in my arms and stay there for hours on end...  I never thought I'd say it, but I miss you being so small and fragile, so delicate and dependent.  In the same breath, I love seeing you grow and develop and learn new things.  Every day you get a little stronger, a little smarter, a little more incredible - sometimes I can hardly believe my eyes.  

I love you, my handsome little boy, you are my world.  I could burst - I am so filled with adoration for you.  I wish that every person in the world could experience that feeling, the undeniable pang of unconditional love.  It's only been one year, and in the scheme of things, that's not much.  But you have made my life so much more special, so much more full, so incredibly wonderful in your short life, and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for the future.  

I love you, my baby boy. 

Mum. xo